For a relationship to be successful we need to connect emotionally, physically and mentally with our partner. However, the level of connection required to ‘feel connected’ is different for every individual.
Often one requires a higher level than the other, but unfortunately the ‘connection’ usually defaults to the lower level, leaving the other person feeling not cared about, unheard, not valued, neglected, etc, etc … in other words – unloved.

The level people require is an unconscious need – based on nature and nurture, with childhood playing a major part in their required levels. If a person’s needs aren’t met, negative feelings and emotions pervade, which then often results in conflict and a breakdown in communications.

Because needs are an unconscious facet of our personality, often the one with the lower needs can find it extremely hard to even understand their partner’s issues, let alone act differently. However for a relationship to be successful, the status quo cannot remain. If you love your partner, you must embrace their needs, making an effort. And when you do – magic takes place.

So what needs to happen?

Both individuals need to understand 3 things:
1. your own required level of connection – what makes you feel loved and valued
2. the level required by your partner
3. your partner’s perception of their apparent level of connection

Secondly
1. the partner with the lower level must try to proactively embrace their partner’s higher needs
2. the partner with the higher levels needs to understand/accept that they are not unloved when their partner doesn’t/can’t always meet their needs, and at times be happy with less